Making a Big Decision

I’m looking into a cavern, unable to see the bottom, and about to get strapped into a harness and rappel straight down into nothingness with a total decent of 330 feet (the full length of a football field), and this is only the opening act. What will follow is a full day of climbing up rock walls while being beaten down by a waterfall, shimmying up, down and through dark, wet, and rocky terrain; and did I mention that there are huge spiders everywhere. And yet reflecting back, I was more comfortable with making the decision to do that than I am about making big career decisions.

When it comes to adventure, I’m proud of myself for being brave and showing up, the outcome isn’t all that important, assuming that I live to tell the tale. In my professional life I fear taking chances, risking failure, and making ‘bad’ decisions. My analytical brain would love to believe that somehow there is a perfect and fool-proof choice that will magically reveal itself.

Ruth Chang’s TedTalk, How to Make Hard Choices, helped me with dispelling that myth. She shares that the greatest part about being human is that we get to decide the person we want to be with our choices. There isn’t a ‘good’ versus ‘bad’ decision, just the decision that leads us towards the person we want to be. “There shouldn’t be agony and dread; hard choices are precious opportunities for us to celebrate what is special about the human condition.” I found this inspiring and it reminds me to stop with the analysis paralysis, make the decision and let go. If wrong, then learn the lesson and continue on the journey.

Provided below are additional decision-making approaches and strategies.

• Avoid falling into the trap of believing that there are only two options available. Challenge yourself to develop multiple options to choose from. If, however, you are suffering from what researcher Barry Schwartz calls “choice overload” then narrow down your options to make a choice from.
• There is always the tried-and-true pros and cons list. Include your values as part of the evaluation, for example, a decision might reinforce a value of caring for your family or in seeking new challenges. The decision is not a mathematical equation, evaluate against associated emotions, values, and alignment to personal purpose and goals.
• Talk to a friend, family member, and/or mentors about the decision. Let them know if your objective is to discuss it out loud or if you are seeking their advice. While the decision is ultimately yours to make, a fresh perspective can make a big difference.
• Depending on the decision(s) and support required to bring it to life, hiring a coach might provide the motivation to make the decision and take action. My coach asks the tough questions, provides the space for me to reach a decision, and we co-create the accountability structures to make it happen.
• Mindfulness is something that I rely on heavily. Find quiet time to listen to your body, heart, and gut. Don’t discount or ignore the emotions, moods and feelings that arise when considering alternatives. Trust your gut instinct.
• Consider the decision from both a short and long-term perspective. Many business leaders use the 10-10-10 strategy. Ask yourself the following three questions: 1) how will I feel about it in 10 minutes, 2) how will I feel about it in 10 months, and 3) how will I feel about it in 10 years?
• It is important to give yourself the time and space to make a decision, but don’t fall into analysis paralysis. If spending more time deliberating versus making decisions, you might need to set a deadline. Additionally, understand why you might be delaying the decision: do you need additional information, is there more clarity to gain, are you scared of getting it wrong, or are you considering others too much and trying to people please.

Find what works for you and start taking action. It is not necessary to ‘get it right’ every time. Align your decision towards the person you wish to be, learn from your decisions, and course correct.

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Mary Oliver

For those curious, the rappelling adventure was in New Zealand with Waitomo Adventures. Look them up if you are ever there and want to press your limits.